How Your Brain Works
Episode 2
Are you in there? The power of your conscious mind
Are you in there?
Have you ever stopped to wonder, “Am I in here?” Sounds a bit silly, right? Of course, you are. You’re a conscious being, aware of your own existence, and that’s a gift we often take for granted.
But here’s what you need to know about your mind. While we’re constantly aware, do we ever stop to notice where we are directing that awareness? Take a moment to notice not only that your mind is aware, but what it is aware of, in this moment.
Where Does Your Mind Wander
Think for a moment about what has been on your mind today. See if one of these fits.
- That person who upset you?
- Traffic or bad weather that irritates you?
- Something from the past that didn’t go your way?
- Or maybe your future worries, hoping things will or won’t happen?
If you’re like most of us, your thoughts probably haven’t been focused on the sheer miracle of your own existence. And that’s okay!
You have the freedom to think about whatever you want.
However, if you’re craving more joy, love, peace, or even bliss, then it’s time to shift where you’re shining the light of your awareness.
The Cycle of Complaining: Cost vs. Benefit
Someone cuts you off in traffic. What’s your immediate reaction? Probably a complaint, right? Friend makes a subtly insulting comment? Complain. Rain ruins your picnic plans? Complain!
Now, let’s ask ourselves: What’s the actual benefit of all that complaining? As my wise guru would say, it’s 100% cost and 0% benefit. It doesn’t just make your situation worse; it makes it worse for everyone who has to listen.
“But what if I just need to vent?” you might ask. Go for it! You’ve got free will. Just be aware of what you’re actually getting for your effort.
Beyond Venting: A Modern View
Back in Freud’s day, the idea was that venting, or “catharsis,” was enough – talk it out, release emotions, and problem solved! While blowing off steam can offer momentary relief, modern understanding reveals it often reinforces the very emotional patterns we seek to break.
Here’s what modern psychology has realized: every time we retell our dramatic stories, we actually give them more emotional punch. The new understanding is that our challenges have to do with the importance we give to a certain problem or situation. It is the ‘charge’ that we get from the related thoughts and emotions.
It’s not the problem itself that causes our mental health challenges; it’s our problem with the problem that’s the real issue.
Events in our lives have surprisingly little power over our mental well-being.
You Hold The Power
The good news? Who is in charge inside your head? You are.
You, the conscious being, have incredible power over your mental health and your experience of this life. You get to choose where your conscious awareness goes.
Your mind is a beautiful instrument, but it can quickly become a house of horrors if we let it. It’s not that having problems is “wrong” with you; that’s just being human! However, even when things get really tough, you don’t have to stay stuck there.
In fact, the human mind is naturally wired for expansion. We often gain something valuable from difficult experiences; a new insight, a deeper understanding of ourselves, or clarity on what we truly want. Your mind knows how to grow and make things better, if you just allow it.
Try This Simple Exercise
- Notice the moment. Look around. What is your conscious mind aware of right now?
- Watch what your mind is doing. Don’t judge it. Is it worrying? Fretting? That’s what minds do. It’s fine.
- Zoom out. What else is happening? Are you breathing? Is your heart beating all on its own? You’re a conscious being with a universe of experiences available! Lean away from the problem-focused chatter. Just take a break. Then, lean into awareness of yourself at this moment. Notice your incredible power to direct your mind. Bonus points for noticing something amazing, wonderful, or even miraculous about your existence. The fact that you exist at all is a great place to start!
- Notice the magic. Take a few moments to see what else you notice besides your problems. Ever notice how solving one problem just makes another one pop up? Take a break from that! Instead, notice the grass, the trees, the sun, or even your own beating heart. Isn’t it amazing?
You Have Been Given A Gift
You’ve been given an incredible gift: this time between your birth and your death. And while you’re here, you can place your attention wherever you choose. That’s another profound gift. You are in there. You have a great mind. Use it well.
References On Mindful Awareness
Michael Singer. Living Untethered: Beyond the Human Predicament. Amazon
Wesly Feuquay M.Ed. 20 Minute Transformations: A Coach’s Toolkit for Rapid, Reliable, and Revolutionary Change. Amazon
Patti Dobrowolski. Creative Genius You: The Equation that Makes YOU Great! Amazon
About Dr. Marcy’s How Your Mind Works Series
Dr. Marcy is a child psychologist with almost two decades of experience working with thousands of families. This series is her latest work, designed to guide you on your own journey of transformation. Whether you’re seeking more meaning, purpose, courage, or calm, or perhaps just a moment’s peace in a chaotic world, this series is for you. Enjoy!
