What is Formal and Unusual Language in Childhood?

Formal language in childhood refers to a child’s use of words or phrases that seem too advanced, odd, awkward, or unusual for the situation. 

These quirky word choices are often overly academic and specialized, making a child sound like a “little professor” sharing facts about topics like volcanoes or the Hoover Dam.

Signs of Formal and Unusual Language in Childhood

• Adult-like language: Your child uses sophisticated phrases such as “Marriage is a way of propagating the human species.”
• Echoing adult phrases: Your child repeats phrases heard from adults, like, “It is important to have experienced some hardships in life.”
• Advanced vocabulary: Your child uses words beyond their age group.
• Struggles with everyday communication but excels in specific advanced topics: Your child finds it hard to converse with friends but can discuss car washes or air conditioning units in great detail.
• Speaks like a little professor: Your child lectures others on subjects like dinosaurs, the police force, or natural disasters.
• Uses adult sayings: Your child says things like “kids these days…” or “teenagers, don’t they blow your mind?”

What Causes Formal and Unusual Language in Childhood?

• Social communication challenges: Children unsure how to connect socially may find comfort in sharing factual information. Their language might be a one-way dialogue, lacking social connection, making the conversation partner feel like an audience member.
• Giftedness: Highly intelligent children may spend more time on intellectual or academic topics. This is fine if peers are engaged, but problematic if peers find it boring or perceive the child as a “know-it-all.”
• Autism Neurotype: Children with unique social communication styles and specific interests may have an Autism neurotype. Social communication in autism often includes difficulty with back-and-forth conversation, knowing what to say, or understanding what might interest another person. The language a child with an Autism neurotype uses can sometimes feel very quirky.

Examples of Language Communication Styles Often Seen in Autism

• Formal language: An advanced word might be used incorrectly, or a child may not understand its meaning. While occasional instances are typical, frequent echoing of misunderstood language can indicate a strong memory but struggles with functional communication. For example, a 6-year-old saying, “It’s an irrevocable fact!” without knowing its meaning.
• Precocious language: Some children seem especially advanced for their age in language. While a 3-year-old using big words can be cute, it becomes problematic if it’s frequent and makes up a large part of their communication, like an 8-year-old saying, “Teenagers these days. So moody!” after passing an older child.
• Specific language: A child might sound unusual due to the extensive detail they provide on a particular topic. This can mislead parents into thinking their child has a high vocabulary across all areas, when it might only apply to a specific interest, such as a 10-year-old describing “Dermochelys coriaceous” (leatherback sea turtles) with scientific precision.
• Professorial language: A child may use language in the form of a lecture rather than a conversation, often presenting a list of facts. This can make a listener feel like they are in a college class, expected to listen without commenting or asking questions.
• Stereotyped language: Children with highly specific interests may talk extensively about a subject without checking for listener engagement. This can involve repeating, echoing, or scripting phrases from media, often without context. For example, a 6-year-old responding to a picture of a beach with a Star Trek quote: “There’s Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, starboard bow; there’s Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, Jim.”

How to Help Children with Formal and Unusual Language

• Model conversational language: Instead of asking many questions, start with statements like, “I had a crazy day. Do you mind if I tell you about it?” Encourage back-and-forth conversation, practicing asking and answering questions, and sharing information.
• Acknowledge and guide: If your child uses unusual phrases, acknowledge their advanced vocabulary (“That’s a big word. You know so much about this topic.”) and gently explain that peers might prefer discussing younger topics. Help them understand that speaking in an overly academic way might cause peers to lose interest.
• Practice social scenarios: Before playdates, help your child practice topics and things to say. Encourage them to think about their friend’s interests and how to incorporate them into the conversation.
• Engage in social activities: Enroll your child in activities that promote conversation, sharing, listening, and asking questions, such as cooking classes, Lego clubs, robotics clubs, or zoo camps.
• Consider social skills groups: These groups, often led by social workers, counselors, or psychologists, help children develop reciprocal communication skills through games and discussions. Ensure your child is matched with peers of a similar age and language level.
• Allow “teaching” moments: Provide specific times and places for your child to share their favorite topics. Call it “teaching” and be a willing student. For example, “Johnny, would you like to teach us about dinosaurs?” or “Do you want to videotape a speech about turtles so that we can send it to grandma?”
• Teach context for quotes: If your child quotes movies or shows, teach them to preface it. For example, “Wait, I want to hear this but I need to know which movie this is about first!” This teaches them that conversation partners need context to engage.

When to Seek Professional Help

If your child consistently uses formal and unusual language, it’s generally fine if they are still engaging well with peers. For example, gifted children or “gamers” might talk extensively about specific topics, and this is acceptable if their friends are equally engaged. Similarly, “cosplay,” where kids adopt characters’ language, is fine if others join in on it.

However, if your child is the only one doing the talking and struggles to connect with peers, it’s time to pay attention. They may need help understanding how to have a reciprocal conversation. Speech therapists and other professionals can teach these skills, improving their social functioning and interactions.

Professional Resources for Formal or Unusual Language in Childhood

If your child is struggling with this to the point that it impacts their learning, relationships, or happiness, the following professionals can help:

• Psychologist or neuropsychologist: For a comprehensive evaluation to consider symptoms in a mental health context.
• School psychologist: To assess IQ, anxiety, social skills, and the academic impact.
• Speech and language pathologist: To provide language assessment and therapy, potentially in a natural social environment like lunchtime or during recess, or within the classroom to facilitate social learning and conversation.
• Social Group: To support the development of reciprocal communication skills, often facilitated by a social worker, counselor, or psychologist, with an emphasis on social and conversation skills.

Similar Conditions to Challenges with Formal or Unusual Language in Childhood

If your child is struggling with a similar problem not directly addressed here, consider these related areas.

• Narrative coherence – difficulties telling stories can also manifest in an overly formal or professorial communication style.
• Pragmatic language – challenges with social language can lead to formal or unusual communication.
• Repetitive language – children who repeat phrases or words may use an overly formal or professorial tone.
• Restricted interests – intense interests in certain topics can lead to highly specific or unusual language.
• Scripted or echoed language – children who repeat phrases from movies, videos, or video games may use overly formal language.

Resources for Formal or Unusual Language in Childhood

• Baker, Jed. (2006). Social skills picture book for high school and beyond.
• Baker, Jed. (Retrieved 2017). Social skills books and resources for ASD.
• Berns, Roberta M. (2010). Child, family, school, community: Socialization and support.
• Brown, Laurie Krasny & Brown, Marc (2001). How to be a friend: A guide to making friends and keeping them (Dino life guides for families).
• Cook, Julia (2012). Making Friends is an art!: A children’s book on making friends (Happy to be, you and me).
• Cooper, Scott (2005). Speak up and get along!: Learn the mighty might, thought chop, and more tools to make friends, stop teasing, and feel good about yourself.
• Fein, Deborah (2011). “The Neuropsychology of Autism.”
• Giler, Janet Z. (2000). Socially ADDept: A manual for parents of children with ADHD and/or learning disabilities.
• Giler, Janet Z. (2011). Socially ADDept: Teaching social skills to children with ADHD, LD, and Asperger’s.
• Gray, Carol & Attwood, Tony (2010). The New Social Story Book, Revised and Expanded 10th Anniversary Edition: Over 150 Social Stories that Teach Everyday Social Skills to Children with Autism or Asperger’s Syndrome, and their Peers.
• Kroncke, Willard, & Huckabee (2016). Assessment of autism spectrum disorder: Critical issues in clinical forensic and school settings. Springer, San Francisco.
• McConnell, Nancy & LoGuidice (1998). That’s Life! Social language.
• Meiners, Cheri. (2003). Understand and care.
• Mendler, Allen (2013). Teaching your students how to have a conversation.
• Ozonoff, Sally & Dawson, Geraldine & McPartland, James C. (2014). A parent’s guide to high-functioning autism spectrum disorder: How to meet the challenges and help your child thrive.
• UCLA PEERS Clinic https://www.semel.ucla.edu/peers