Memory in Childhood
We know that raising children is a journey full of twists, turns, and sometimes, a few forgotten homework assignments along the way.
If you’ve noticed your child struggling to remember things, whether it’s where they left their shoes or the instructions for their science project, you’re not alone. Let’s explore the world of childhood memory together, with a compassionate heart and a toolkit full of helpful strategies.
What is Memory in Childhood?
Memory in childhood is holding onto important information for later use.
It is like a treasure chest in our minds, holding onto valuable information, experiences, and skills. In childhood, memory plays a crucial role in learning, daily routines, and social interactions. It’s the ability to store and retrieve information, allowing children to learn, grow, and navigate their world.
Recognizing the Signs of Memory Challenges
Memory challenges can manifest in different ways. There may be a general forgetfulness or your child may easily remember events that happened long ago but quickly forget important materials for school. You may feel like you are always showing up for activities a day late and a dollar short. Your child may forget events at school, important materials like a coat or a backpack, or may miss important deadlines.
Here are a few signs to watch for in your child.
- Forgetfulness: Frequently misplacing items, forgetting appointments, or having difficulty recalling information.
- Losing items: Constantly losing belongings, even with reminders and organizational systems.
- Missing assignments: Struggling to keep track of schoolwork, leading to missed assignments and incomplete work.
- Unprepared for events: Forgetting necessary items or instructions for school events or activities.
- Messy spaces: Disorganization in their bedroom, backpack, or locker, reflecting challenges with organization and memory.
- Reminders not helping: Despite reminders and support, still struggling to remember important information.
- Getting in trouble: Facing consequences at school or home due to forgetfulness or difficulty following instructions.
- Always running late: Struggling with time management and routines, leading to frequent tardiness.
- Family frustrations: Memory challenges causing stress and conflict within the family.
Understanding the Causes
Memory difficulties can stem from various factors. As you will read here, none of these are your child’s fault. Most of the time, kids are forgetting important items due to different brain wiring. There is of course an additional issue if your child has selective attention.
You may notice your child remembers everything for his video game but not for his chores. That is more of an attention problem than a memory issue.
The list below refers to the brain differences that may be impacting your child’s memory.
- Executive functioning issues: Challenges with organization, planning, working memory, and sustained attention can impact a child’s ability to remember information effectively.
- Processing speed: Difficulty processing information quickly can make it challenging to retain and recall details.
- Trauma: Both mild (“small t”) and significant (“big T”) trauma can affect a child’s memory and ability to concentrate.
- Head injury: A head injury or concussion can lead to memory problems and difficulties with attention and processing speed.
Pitfalls to Avoid
- Dismissing concerns: Ignoring memory challenges can lead to academic difficulties, social struggles, and low self-esteem.
- Punishing forgetfulness: Negative comments or punitive measures can increase anxiety and make memory problems worse.
- Overlooking underlying issues: Memory challenges can be a symptom of learning disabilities, ADHD, or other conditions that require professional attention.
Pearls of Wisdom for Parents
- Collaborate with the school: Work with teachers and school counselors to implement strategies and support systems.
- Understand learning styles: Tailor memory strategies to your child’s specific learning style.
- Visual learners: Use visual aids, graphic organizers, and visual memory techniques.
- Auditory learners: Encourage verbal repetition, mnemonics, and auditory learning strategies.
- Kinesthetic learners: Incorporate hands-on activities, movement, and real-world experiences.
- Gradual release of responsibility: Provide support and guidance, gradually increasing independence as your child gains skills.
- Collaborative goal setting: Set achievable goals together, with rewards and positive reinforcement.
- Household organization system: Create a structured and organized environment to support your child’s memory and routines.
- Seek professional support: Consider seeking help from a therapist, educational psychologist, or other professionals if memory challenges persist.
When to Seek Professional Guidance
If your child continues to struggle with memory despite your efforts and support, it’s essential to seek professional guidance.
A comprehensive evaluation can help identify any underlying learning disabilities, attention difficulties, or other factors contributing to their challenges.
A Final Word on Memory Issues in Childhood
Parenting a child with memory challenges can require extra patience and understanding. Remember, you are your child’s greatest advocate and cheerleader.
With your love, support, and a sprinkle of those pearls of wisdom, you can help your child develop strong memory skills and thrive in all areas of life.
Book resources for memory problems in childhood
Barkley, Russell A. (2013). Taking charge of ADHD, 3rd edition: The complete, authoritative guide for parents.
Bell, Nanci (2007). Visualizing and verbalizing: For language comprehension and thinking.
Cooper-Kahn, Joyce & Dietzel, Laurie C. (2008). Late, lost, and unprepared: A parent’s guide to helping children with executive functioning.
Dawson, Peg & Guare, Richard (2009). Smart but scattered: The revolutionary “executive skills” approach to helping kids reach their potential.
Dawson, Peg & Guare, Richard (2010). Executive skills in children and adolescents: A practical guide to assessment and intervention, second edition.
Grandin, Temple. (2006). Thinking in Pictures, Expanded edition: My life with autism.
Gardner, Howard (2006). Multiple intelligences: New horizons in theory and practice.
Higbee, Kenneth. (2008) Your Memory: How it works and how to improve it.
Kroncke, Willard, & Huckabee (2016). Assessment of autism spectrum disorder: Critical issues in clinical forensic and school settings. Springer, San Francisco.
Lewis, PhD, Jeanne, Calvery, Ph.D., Margaret, & Lewis, Ph.D., Hal (2002). Brainstars. Brain Injury: Strategies for Teams and Re-education for Students. US Department of Education: Office of Special Programs.
Lorayne, Harry & Lucas, Jerry (2012) The Memory Book: A classic guide to improving your memory at work school and play.
Peacock, Gretchen Gimpel & Collett, Brent (2010). Collaborative home/school interventions: Evidence-based solutions for emotional, behavioral, and academic problems.
Siegel, Daniel J. & Bryson, Tina Payne (2012). The whole brain child: 12 revolutionary strategies to nurture your child’s developing mind.
Zentic, Tamara (2015). Grit & bear it activity guide: Activities to engage, encourage, and inspire perseverance.
Helpful books for kids with memory problems
Cook, Julia (2013). Thanks for the feedback, I think (Best me I can be!)
Deak, JoAnn & Ackerley, Sarah (2010). Your fantastic elastic brain stretch it, shape it.
McCumbee, S. (2014). The garden in my mind: Growing through positive choices.
Meiners, Cheri, J. (2003). Listen and learn.
Perseverance books for kids with memory problems
Gordon, Jon (2012). The energy bus for kids: A story about staying positive and overcoming challenges.
McCumbee, S. (2014). The garden in my mind: Growing through positive choices.
Meiners, Cheri, J. (2003). Listen and learn.
Spires, Ashley (2014). The most magnificent thing.
