Does the Lost and Found Have Your Child’s Name on It?

Let’s face it, parenting can be a wild ride! There are moments of pure joy and connection, and then there are those times when you feel like you’re navigating a maze blindfolded, especially when it comes to helping your child with organization. 

Maybe you get calls from the school that your child forgot the permission slip for the field trip and they have to leave in an hour. Perhaps, your son forgot his dress shirt and it’s career day (true story, by the way). It could be that you get to soccer practice and your child forgot to mention that you are the snack parent today. 

If you’ve ever spent precious hours searching for lost shoes, misplaced homework, or that elusive library book, you’re not alone. We see you, we hear you, and we understand the frustration! It’s exhausting. Sometimes you just want to give up because organization feels like such an uphill battle for your child.

But here’s the thing – organization is a skill, not a personality trait. And like any skill, it takes time, practice, and a whole lot of patience to develop. Some children seem to be born with an innate sense of order, while others might need a little extra guidance and support to find their way. And that’s perfectly okay! Every child is unique, with their own strengths, challenges, and pace of learning.

What is the Organization of Materials in Childhood?

Organization of materials refers to managing and keeping track of important items.

This organization may be keeping track of pencils and pens, notebooks, calculators, soccer shoes, backpacks, and that field trip permission slip.

But what happens when organization feels more like a chaotic treasure hunt? Lost shoes, misplaced homework, and that constant feeling of being just a little bit behind? It’s like trying to build a magnificent LEGO castle without the instructions – frustrating for both kids and parents!

Signs Your Child Might Benefit from Organization Support

• The case of the vanishing belongings: Does your child seem to misplace everything? Backpacks, jackets, shoes – they disappear like magic! You might even joke that they’d lose their head if it wasn’t attached.
• The great misplacement mystery: Important items like homework, keys, or even that prized collection of Pokémon cards seem to have a mind of their own, turning up in the most unexpected places or not at all.
• The never-ending search party: Do you find yourselves constantly on the hunt for essential items, retracing steps and turning the house upside down?
• The “lost in space” look: Does your child sometimes seem a bit disconnected from the here and now, as if their mind is off on an exciting adventure? This can lead to missed instructions and misplaced belongings.
• The “mad scientist” experiment (aka their bedroom or locker): Does their personal space resemble a scene from a science experiment gone wrong? It’s like a tornado of clothes, books, and unrecognizable items. You might find yourself asking your child, “What is that thing?” Let’s face it, you don’t want to know. 
• The homework black hole: Can your child complete their homework but then struggle to turn it in? It’s like it gets sucked into a black hole, never to be seen again.
• The low-battery blues: Is their laptop always MIA or showing up at school with a battery that’s about to go kaput?
• The permission slip predicament: Do permission slips for field trips and special events seem to vanish into thin air, leaving you scrambling at the last minute?

If any of these scenarios sound familiar, it might be time to embark on an exciting quest to help your child build organization skills.

The Development of Organization Skills

Here’s the thing about organization – it’s like a brain skill that takes time to develop. While some brain functions mature early on, those “executive functions” that help us plan, organize, and stay focused take a bit longer to blossom. Think of it like a beautiful garden – it needs careful nurturing and time to reach its full potential.

Around ages seven to nine, children enter a crucial stage for developing these skills. They are building the foundation for the organization skills they will need later. By around age twelve, they’ve made significant progress, but these skills continue to evolve throughout adolescence, reaching full maturity around age twenty-one.

So, if your young teen seems a bit disorganized, take heart! They’re right on track with their peers. With patience, support, and a good sense of humor, they’ll get better at these skills and you will both survive this trying time.

Why Organization Can Be a Challenge

There are a few reasons why organization might feel like an uphill battle for some children:

• Executive functioning: These are the brain’s command center for planning, organizing, and staying focused. Challenges in this area can make it harder to get started on tasks, keep track of belongings, and stay on top of things.
• The lizard brain vs. the wizard brain: Imagine two parts of the brain – the “lizard brain,” which is all about emotions and quick reactions, and the “wizard brain,” which handles planning, organization, and problem-solving. When the lizard brain is in charge (like when we’re upset or stressed), the wizard brain takes a backseat, making it harder to think clearly and stay organized.
• Metacognition: This is like having a “thinking about thinking” superpower! It helps us understand our own thought processes and how we learn best. Challenges with metacognition can make it harder to plan, organize, and reflect on our own learning.
• Attention and task completion: Staying focused on tasks can be tricky for some kids, especially those with ADHD. This can make it harder to get things done and stay organized.
• Motivation: Sometimes, disorganization might stem from a lack of interest or motivation. It’s like saying, “I’d rather be building a spaceship out of cardboard boxes than cleaning my room!”

What You Can Do to Support Your Child

The wonderful news is that organization skills are teachable! Here are some fun and creative ways to help your child become an organization master:

• Systems and routines: Create clear systems for packing backpacks, doing homework, and keeping track of assignments. Think checklists, color-coded folders, and designated study spaces.
• Daily and weekly rhythms: Establish a predictable daily routine and a weekly cleanup time to keep things tidy and organized.
• Prepare for the day ahead: Encourage your child to pack their backpack, lay out clothes, and charge devices the night before.
• Create zones: Divide their room into zones for different activities – a study zone, a reading nook, a toy kingdom, and so on.
• Double the supplies: Having a set of supplies at home and at school can prevent those “I forgot my…” moments.
• Color-coding fun: Use color-coded folders, notebooks, and even online document titles to keep things organized by subject.
• Positive reinforcement: Celebrate every organizational victory with praise, stickers, or a special activity.

Pearls of Wisdom for Parents

• Patience is a superpower: Remember that organization skills take time to develop. Be patient, supportive, and celebrate every step forward.
• Embrace the “mistakes are opportunities” mindset: View misplaced items and forgotten assignments as learning opportunities rather than reasons for criticism.
• Collaborate and empower: Work together with your child to create systems and routines that work for them.
• Focus on strengths: Every child has unique strengths and talents. Help them leverage those strengths to overcome organizational challenges.
• Seek support when needed: If organization challenges are causing significant distress or impacting your child’s well-being, don’t hesitate to reach out to a teacher, therapist, or other professional.

Parenting Pitfalls to Avoid

• The blame game: Avoid blaming or criticizing your child for disorganization. Instead, focus on finding solutions together.
• The somparison trap: Every child is unique and develops at their own pace. Avoid comparing your child to the organized kid down the street.
• The “do it for them” quick fix: While it might be tempting to jump in and organize everything for your child, resist the urge! Encourage them to take ownership of their belongings and develop their own organizational skills.
• The overwhelm factor: Don’t try to tackle everything at once. Start with small, achievable goals and gradually build from there.

Final Thoughts on Organization in Childhood

As parents, we often carry the weight of our children’s struggles on our own shoulders. We worry, we wonder, and we sometimes blame ourselves when things feel challenging. You are like, “how is this kid ever going to go off to college when his room looks like that?!” But here’s the truth – you are not alone. Millions of parents are navigating the same maze, cheering on their children and worrying profusely at the same time.

Organization is a journey, not a destination. There will be bumps along the road, misplaced items, and forgotten assignments. But with every step, with every small victory, your child is building valuable skills that will serve them throughout their lives. And you are their guide. They really need your help on this, even though they won’t admit it.

Take a deep breath, embrace the chaos, and remember that you are doing your best with a very hard thing. Celebrate every small step forward, focus on your child’s strengths, and never underestimate the power of patience and humor to turn those organizational challenges into opportunities for growth and connection.

References for organizing materials in childhood 

Anderson, P. (2002). Assessment and development of executive functions during childhood. Child Neuropsychology (8), 71-82.

Alfredo Ardilla May 2008 Brain and Cognition 68 (1) 92-99. On the evolutionary origins of executive functions. 

Barkley Russell, Taking Charge of ADHD, 4th Edition (2020)

Brain Injury Alliance of Colorado. The Brain Injury Alliance of Colorado is the go-to resource for help and services for survivors of an injury to the brain, their families and providers. http://biacolorado.org/

Dawson, Peg & Guare, Richard (2009). Smart but scattered: The revolutionary “executive skills” approach to helping kids reach their potential.

Dawson, Peg & Guare, Richard (2010). Executive skills in children and adolescents: A practical guide to assessment and intervention, second edition.

Eide, Brock & Eide, Fernette (2006). The mislabeled child: How understanding your child’s unique learning style can open the door to success.

Goia, G.A., Isquith, P.K, Retzlaff & Espy, K.A (2002). Confirmatory factor analysis of the Behavior Rating Inventory of Executive Function (BRIEF) in a clinical sample. Clinical Neuropsychology (8), 249-257.

Goia, G.A., Isquith, P.K., Kenworthy, L., & Barton, R.M. (2010). Profiles of everyday executive function in acquired and developmental disorders, Child Neuropsychology (8), 121-137.

Lewis, Jeanne & Calvery, Margaret, & Lewis, Hal (2002). Brainstars — Brain injury: Strategies for teams and re-education for students.